Mother & Son at the Wedding.
“You’re wife still doesn’t like me.”
“Just a Mother in Law who lives in the Garage”
“I had cesarian and got the zipper marks to prove it. ”
“Well Shabot fucking shalom.”
Sexy Lawyer Client Reverse Roll Play
“I don’t know my rights!” as she throws her hands up behind her head.
The Dressing Room
“You got a boner?"
"No. Yes."
"Lemme touch it.”
"No. Yes."
"Lemme touch it.”
“I’m wearing two pairs of Spanks so sorry if I pass out.”
“Without a bra it’s like two socks with change.”
Hollywood Lovers
“I know I’m a 73 year old woman and your a 27 year old man. But, (slowly takes a knee) will you mary me?”
“I’m amazed by your flexibility.”
“You taught me that.”
“I did. And if it’s not a blood diamond, I’m in.”
“Mined in Indiana by Union Workers.”
“Kiss me!”
Date Night
“You’re here to date my daughter.”
“You’re upset because I’m your age. May I set down my hat.”
“Yes, that’s old timey of you. Would like a drink?”
“Yes.”
“Wrong answer. My daughter’s not old enough to drink.”
“Wrong answer. My daughter’s not old enough to drink.”
“I thought you meant you were going to make me a smoothie.”
“I have a silver star from the war. Where you in World War II?”
“I was 4 helping my mother with a Victory Garden.”
“Why didn’t you serve in any of the other wars? That’s the thing about America, you have a choice.”
“I chose to live.”
“How bout I date your daughter? How’d you like that?”
“Well she’s a special girl.”
Date Night Part 2 - A Drive Home
“I can put my foot in my mouth.”
“Please don’t. Where did you say you live again?”
“Please don’t. Where did you say you live again?”
“Right here.”
“OK. Well good night.”
“You have to check me in.”
"Take your foot out of your mouth."
Meanwhile, behind the counter of the complex.
"What seems to be the problem here?"
"Nothing. Why don't you fuck me any more?""Take your foot out of your mouth."
Meanwhile, behind the counter of the complex.
"What seems to be the problem here?"
"What?"
"Is it cause I just seem beautiful because I'm normal?"
"No, you're normal and beautiful."
tap tap "See, you do have a boner."
Callback City
Shabbat Shalom
Audience . "Poke" by Messing with a Friend with Susan Messing & Paul Valincourt . iO West . 8pm Friday July 31 2015 .
